Self Gratification
by Vaniti
Summary: Anzu asks Kaiba a VERY personal question. If that wasn't awkward enough for Kaiba, the thought of Anzu thinking 'those' thoughts about him was icing on the Mortified Cake... -One-shot-


**Self-Gratification **

**By:** Vaniti

**Disclaimer: **Yuugiou © Kazuki Takahashi

Anzu asks Kaiba a VERY personal question. If that wasn't awkward enough for Kaiba, the thought of Anzu thinking 'those' thoughts about him was icing on the Mortified Cake…-One-shot-

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It was a Tuesday afternoon just like any other.

The telltale signs of summer were poking about such as the crisp scent of freshly cut grass, students hauling around jumbo ice cream cones, adults taking their lunch breaks outside, and those bimbo girls prancing around in flip-flops.

Seto Kaiba hated flip-flops.

They were the most impractical, ill-suited, grotesque feet revealing, irritating noise- making embarrassments known to all shoes alike.

Flip, flip. Flippity, flippity. Flop, flop.

His mouth drew in a thin line at the offender.

And there she was; of course none other than that twig Anzu Mazaki as she came padding along in…flip-flops! Kaiba could hardly say he was surprised. Mazaki was most certainly the flip-flop wearing type.

Did he also mention how he loathed school dress-down days?

As if his blistering stare were a tangible thing and she could feel it on her, Mazaki raised her inquisitive eyes to meet his. He also could not stand those round clear pools of blue.

"Good afternoon, Kaiba! Ready for the three day weekend coming up?" she smiled brightly.

It was Tuesday. No human could be so cheerful on a Tuesday. Or ever!  
He grumbled something under his breath. Smiling politely in confusion she tucked a brown lock behind her ear.

"I'm sorry. I didn't quite catch that…?"

"Mind your own business," he found himself snapping in reprisal.

"Uh, you don't have to be such a grouch. You don't want to go through life looking like you're always sucking on a lemon."

Sucking on a lemon! Kaiba's blood boiled. For his young age, he knew his blood pressure was already on the bit high side. He did not need this pinheaded cheerleader to make it worse!

"I'm sure you'd know a few things about sucking," he retorted in heated defense.

Then he froze. That without question was out of his usual lines of retaliation or statements. Where had it come from? Mazaki seemed to comprehend it as well as she pursed her lips together inquisitively.

"Good luck _ever _finding a girlfriend, or a wife one day, with that kind of attitude."

**Now** she had the nerve to delve into his personal life or give advice on his future? Where did Mazaki get off?

"I believe that is _none _of your concern. A girlfriend is the farthest thing from my mind. And to speak bluntly, I pity the fool who ever slips a ring on your scrawny finger."

"And believe me, that's the last of my priorities right now. But you're going to have a long, lonely life ahead of you. Especially telling girls they're better suited for sucking on _things_."

"I have utterly no need for a woman," he barked.

"Why? Because you're completely satisfied with the use of your hand?"

And there she had said it. For once, Seto Kaiba could say he absolutely lost his composure. His focus went temporarily hazy, as though he had sipped too much whiskey on a blazing summer day without water. Anzu Mazaki, the upbeat cheerleader, from his enemy's group, was capable of lewd reference. And to **him**, nonetheless.

In the loopy world of his astonish he almost asked her to repeat herself, in hopes he had heard incorrectly. However, he knew he was not mistaken. He swallowed the thick coal that scalded the back of his throat. With intent he stabbed her with his scorching Persian-blue glare.

"You vulgar, improper excuse for a woman —"

Much to his surprise and continued ire, she had the audacity to break out in a fit of giggles.

"Oh, lighten up, Kaiba. It was a joke. Sometimes I worry about you and how serious you take everything," she flippantly disregarded his fury.

"There is nothing amusing, I can assure you, in speaking inappropriately," he hissed.

She slowly raised an eyebrow. "You really need to hang out with more guys your age."

"And you pride yourself in doing so? Look what it has done to you."

The train of his indignation continued its long trek when she continued to laugh.

He noticed the fine creases of mirth around her eyes as she continued to do so, and the way she would slightly raise her hand as if she wanted to quell her peels of delight. Another thought occurred to him.

As a general biological rule, men tended to be more visual than women. However, if Anzu was suggesting what she had, did that mean that the image had physically crossed her mind…?

It was a rare thing for Seto Kaiba to blush and yet he felt the betraying heat creep up his neck.

The Mazaki wench had the audacity to point it out.

"Kaiba, did I embarrass you? I'm sorry. Maybe next time you'll think twice about making references to lemons."

She turned to flounce away when the amendment hit him.

"I did not bring up the topic of lemons; **you** did!" As he petulantly corrected her she slowly stopped and turned around.

Anzu Mazaki winked at him.

**FIN.**

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**A/N:** Hee hee hee….:) I'm sorry guys, but I had to. Forgive me? And of course Kaiba, Anzu is a bit pervy – look who she hangs around! Reviews make me very happy – hope you enjoyed this silliness!

Vaniti


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